Thursday, June 14, 2012

Cloth - Ramblings - I Love a Parade!

This past weekend it was our local town days.  There is a rodeo, concert, fireworks, carnival, and parade.  If you grew-up or live in a small town you know that none of these activities are really grand or even for that matter super fun but somehow you end up doing them year after year. 

Amid protests from the husband we went to the parade.  I am always more excited to go before I get there.  Here are some observations from the parade sidelines.

1) You feel like a loser if you don't have kids. It is almost like you are a leper. No one throws candy to you and it is frowned upon if you dart out in the street after a piece of candy if a child is going for the same piece.  I like taffy too, lay off.

2) You are only impressed by emergency vehicles sounding their sirens up until age 8.  It becomes super annoying after about 10 seconds after that age.

3) You find yourself judging the high school girls that ride the floats as the town royalty.  "I would kill for her waist"  "Just wait until you get older and things start to sag" "By all means don't throw any candy we will just wait for you to adjust your hair and fake giggle to the girl next to you."

4) While you might think a parade is a good time to press the flesh and further your political campaign who I am going to vote for in a town election is pretty much the last thing on my mind.  Unless you are giving out candy to childless couples as you pass by you don't have my vote.

5) If you are a cheerleader that looks like a young Mindy Kaling you are alright in my book (if you are unfamiliar with Mindy I recommend you check out her book "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me")

6) There is always at least one float that thinks it is a good idea to spray the crowd with water as they pass by.  I would like to have the same rules apply for water drenching as are employed with kids = keep on moving.

7) Let's limit the parade to bands, floats, horses, crazy stunts with cars and anything else with at least a small amount of entertainment value.  If you have slapped a sign for your business to the side of your car and crammed your waving family inside please reconsider your entry into the parade.

8) The best entertainment comes from the spectators.  You never know what you are going to see.

9) It is hard and tiring work being in a parade.  Make sure you take a nap before the parade starts.

10) Kids driving mini cars or bikes tied with balloons - WIN!

All joking aside it was a fun morning.  There truly is nothing like a small town parade. 

Next year however we will be employing some children to sit next to us and retrieve candy.


  1. I have 3 children who would be happy to retrieve candy for you. ;-)