Monday, March 25, 2013

Babies Don't Like To Be Naked

I like to consider myself an amateur photographer.  Emphasis on the amateur part.  So I of course had grand delusions of taking my own newborn photographs.  Up until now my photographs have mostly been limited to macro photos of inanimate objects or the occasional child of a friend that I manage to wrangle for a few minutes.  I don't typically do posed photos I tend to focus more on candid shots.  Just capturing small moments.

So of course now that I have my own child and unlimited access to her I decided to try my hand at doing some posing.  And what is more cute and sweet then a sleeping naked baby?

There is a reason that professional newborn photographers exist.   After spending a couple of days trying to get some decent shots I have determined the following things.

1) Babies do not like to be naked.

2) Babies really do not like to be naked in a ceramic bowl.

3) Naked babies will take any and all opportunities to pee or poop on you when naked (especially if they are in a ceramic bowl.)

4) Babies do not like to stay in the position you have placed them.

5) Babies to not adjust their feeding schedules so that you can use the natural light coming through your living room.  They instead sleep through all of the good light so you are reduced to scrambling around your house to round up any floor lamps you can find.  Only to have the baby be ready for the next feeding by the time you are finally ready to start taking pictures.

6) Babies will squint, squirm, and spit up just when you finally get them positioned correctly.

7) Babies do not like to be naked...they will poop on you.  (Yes this is a repeat but I feel it needs to be stated more than once as it happened more than once.)

8) Babies will let you know when the photo shoot is over. 

Bottom line.  If I want posed naked newborn pictures I am going to have to find someone else to take them...

...however if I stick to a mix of clothed poses and candid shots I will be okay.

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